Zach Steensma, Emma Stoltzfus – Staff Writers, & Garth Van Donselaar – Chief Editor

Fun Ideas if You’re Single:

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. Here are our top picks for the best activities you can do as a single Dordt student.

Dordt walk

We all know how stereotypical Dordt couples stroll through campus hand-in-hand while showing off their deep connection and staring deep into each other’s eyes. With temperatures approaching the single digits and snow in the forecast, it’s time for Dordt singles to take back the Dordt walk.

 

Gather a bunch of single friends, bundle up, and take a walk around campus. Make sure to stay annoyingly close to any Dordt couples so as to discourage un-Christian-like behavior and dampen any romantic mood. About ten feet or so behind them should be good. If a couple is walking toward you, hold your ground so they have to separate their hands. Loud and obnoxious conversation is a bonus. After an hour or so of annoying others on their own dates, who knows? Maybe you’ll end up with one of your own. After all, you just hung out with several of your single friends on Valentine’s Day—surely one of them will want to go on a real Dordt walk afterwards.

Spy on couples

Run out of date ideas? Don’t have a good way to ask someone out? Just spy on other couples and see what they are doing. If it works for them, maybe it will work for you. A few good places to camp out would be the balcony of the B.J. Haan any time after 8:00 p.m., under a desk in the Prayer Room, the West Hall Lodge, Siberia, the computer lab on the 3^rd floor of the Campus Center, or just in the Grille area. If you still feel bad, just remember you haven’t stooped to the lows of making out in the Grille area (seriously, if this is you, please stop).

Make a post on Dordt Secret Admirers

Dordt Secret Admirers has been dead for around two years, but certainly your affections are strong enough to bring life back to the now relic of a page. There’s nothing more appealing to someone than telling them you think they’re cute anonymously over a Facebook page. Maybe if you’re feeling ambitious, you can ask their roommate for their number, and text them anonymously. Relationships are tricky, and there’s no reason for you to be so open right off the bat. If you’re not careful, you could accidently wind up with a stalker.

Go to Walmart and pick up the discount chocolate and romcoms

Valentine’s Day only comes once a year, but afterward, big-box retailers will have to clear out their themed inventory to make room for Easter. What better way to capitalize on our capitalist society than to take advantage of the candy clearance sale? On your way out, pick up a rom-com from the five-dollar movie bin, then head back to your dorm or apartment and eat an entire box of truffles while filling your head with unrealistic relationship ideals and fictional scenarios.

Or, if you don’t feel like going out, you could achieve the same effect by just watching Netflix while you cry into a bowl of ramen.

 Take the psych club “Matchomatics Questionnaire”

As is tradition, the Psych club will be offering its annual matchmaking survey. All you have to do is fill out the questions (honesty is up to you) and then pay a hefty two dollars to see your results so that you can never act on them. Conversely, if you hate anyone on your list, dramatically change your personality so you’ll never be matched with them again.

The name of the survey may be a bit of a tongue twister, but it’s just to prepare you for all the tongue twisting you’ll be doing afterward. 😉

 

Do your homework that’s due Friday

Better yet, just forget about Valentine’s Day entirely and make this an ordinary Thursday. Get your homework done and stop making such a big deal about it.

 

 

Fun Date Ideas:

Valentine’s Day is a day of love, and what better way to celebrate than with these super awesome, totally legal date ideas?

Pull the fire alarms

Sometimes when you’re with your significant other, things can get steamy, and nothing sets off a fire alarm better than steam. A better alternative to get the heart racing is to just go around pulling the alarms yourself. Not only will you get the thrill of running from the crime scene, but you’ll also get a $500 bounty on your head. If you get kicked out, you can try more ambitious crimes. Realize your dream of being a modern Bonnie and Clyde.

 Break up & write a song about it

Sometimes the one you thought could be the one is not the one. It happens. Just remember that your relationship ending isn’t your fault in any way. They said, “it’s not you, it’s me,” so it’s obviously them. If heartbreak has you feeling down, take the Taylor Swift approach and write a song about how you hate your now ex. Maybe perform it for the Dordt Community. If you ever struggle to write more music, just keep breaking up, and the records will sell.

 

 Propose

 

Seniors especially. This is a perfect date idea. Just take a quick Dordt Walk into the prayer garden, or a drive up to Falls Park if you’re really feeling confident and make it official already. Whether you’ve been dating for two years or two minutes, there’s no better way to indicate how serious and Christian you want a relationship to be than to pull out a ring.

Romantic dinner at the Grille

If you really want to show off, you can drop a few Defender Dollars and take your date to the finest establishment in town. Make sure you call ahead to time and make reservations, because this highly sought-after venue can fill up quickly. Best of all, Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday this year, so afterward you can take them to:

 Praise & Worship

At a Christian institution like Dordt College, odds are you’ll need to dazzle your partner with your personal faith. What better opportunity than to take them to Praise and Worship after a romantic dinner and sing praise songs with your fellow Dordt students?

If you’re confident enough, maybe even hold their hand as you belt out the lyrics to How Great is Your Love or Your Love Never Fails—always remembering to leave room for Jesus, of course.

Do your homework that’s due Friday

Relationships are important, but so are your studies. God is watching.