•   You can talk to people who say things no sane, healthy human being would. It really picks you up and makes you feel better about yourself. Reminds you to thank your parents. 

•   You can get super into someone, hang out with them, make future plans to go to a gala for his work, buy a $100 dress, then get ghosted. Now you’re stuck with a gorgeous-but-expensive dress, a couple pieces of his clothing you won’t know what to do with (pro tip: donate them), and trust issues. But at least you get to enter your Reputation era, right Steven? 

•   You jack up your levels of dopamine. Yeah, it’s true. You go through so many talking stages that your brain is just rolling in that neurotransmitter. Though there is that crushing weight that even if you did make it past the talking stage with someone, you would have to share where you met: Tinder. *deep sigh*

•   You can go global when you run out of midwestern boys! If, for some reason, pictures of average-sized fish and jacked-up pickup trucks don’t trip your trigger, you can always search for men who do not have mullets! Seriously though, there are a lot of men out there. It’s concerning— and potentially helpful. 

•   You’ll see people from your high school and university there! It’s not awkward at all! In fact, you can pass them in the hallway and say, “Hey, your Tinder profile looks really great! Would totally swipe (if I didn’t know your entire dating history and Mom’s name— because let’s be real: everyone knows everything about everyone around here!).”

•   You build empathy for those who have ever left you on read. You realize it’s not personal (sometimes). You also become more resilient, build character, become the villain, etc. 

•   Sometimes the guy has a cat. Even if he turns out to be a total loser or stops talking to you, at least you got to pet that orange cat named Oliver Twist. God rest your soul, James.