No more music: NCDC turns to “DUNC” contest

DISCLAIMER: The Zircon staff is an industrious and talented group of people who are sincerely full of #@it. Therefore, take thee not a word uttered or written by this dastardly bunch seriously. The Zircon pages, aside from their obvious humor value, are worth a mere fraction of their printing cost. Happy reading, live long and prosper, may the road rise up to…

Irma Saltycakes–Staff Writer

It’s a year of change at Dordt, and NCDC isn’t exempt. With the university switch, NCDC faced a decision: where do you put the new “U”? After several minutes of discussion and lobbying by both Dordt and Northwestern’s basketball teams, an agreement was made, and a new competition was born–DUNC.

DUNC ditches the old musical performance focus of NCDC in favor of a “DUNC” contest featuring basketball players from both school’s teams.

“We thought it was about time to change it up,” said Bork Borkenson, assistant to the manager of the basketball team. “I mean, who cares about people singing covers of Christian worship songs? Granted, that one rap was pretty cool, but DUNC will be way more epic.”

duncphoto_by_irma_saltycakes

Photo by Darude Sandystorm

Students can expect to see all manner of epic dunks at DUNC 2019, as well as a prize of $1000 for the student-athlete with the best dunk. The contest will be limited to a one-hour time slot. The judge for the contest will be Cliff Warner, former Dordt basketball star and mountain-dew addict.

However, for musically-minded students, DUNC represents a change for the worse.

“I can’t believe they’re getting rid of our competition,” said Penny Singalong, music major.

Without NCDC, students like Singalong will lose their main opportunity to hold the spotlight for more than two hours. Singalong was shocked that Student Services approved the change.

“I really thought they’d say no, but here we are,” Singalong said. “Frankly, I think this is ridiculous, but whatever. In retaliation, the music department will be creating a new competition, so if you have any name ideas, let me know.”

For Borkenson, DUNC is a fresh new take on entertainment worth the ruffled feathers in the music department.

“We’re encouraging student-athletes to really go crazy with their dunks. If someone wanted to use rocket-powered shoes to get a sick dunk, I’d be down,” Borkenson said. “Trust me, it’ll be an awesome event.”

DUNC 2019 will be held in the De Witt Gymnasium at a date to be determined in the Fall 2019 semester.

disclaimer.april27,1995

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