New Hallmark movie is totally original

DISCLAIMER: The Zircon staff is an industrious and talented group of people who are sincerely full of #@it. Therefore, take thee not a word uttered or written by this dastardly bunch seriously. The Zircon pages, aside from their obvious humor value, are worth a mere fraction of their printing cost. Happy reading, live long and prosper, may the road rise up to…

Christopher Pringle – Staff Writer

31.18

Contributed Photo

“Once Upon A Christmas Miracle: A Christmas Story” is perhaps the most original and grounbreakingly intuitive cinematic masterpiece of the modern era.

This instant holiday classic is centered around Carol, a young career woman who works at the highest corporate level at a greeting card company. But her life is totally turned upside down when she travels to rural upstate New York on a business trip and, right before she’s about to leave, a freak snowstorm rolls into town, leaving her at the local blizzard inn in the tight knit and holiday obsessed community of smalltownville. where people look forward to Christmas year round.

Luckily, a rugged and handsome misunderstood author named Nick, who also happens to be wealthy enough to own a cozy but spacious cottage-style house out in the country, comes to her rescue.

His charming family is made up of only himself and his adorable daughter Noelle, but their relationship has grown dysfunctional because Christmas just has never been the same since her mother died 4 years ago of cancer. But don’t worry, her angel still leaves warm fresh cookies in hand knitted stockings on the front porch every year.

Nick, who grew up a misunderstood orphan, has lost his way and no longer believes in the magic of Christmas. Although Carol has never celebrated Christmas before, she and Cindy bond over picking out a Christmas tree, door to door caroling, and together they try to sell enough Christmas wreathes to save the local toy store that was previously scheduled for demolition.

But they don’t raise enough funds, and the evil capitalist landlord moves forward with his plan…that is until a Christmas miracle happens and a million dollars magically appears in a mysterious gift box. Nick reveals that he’s secretly been Santa Claus this whole time despite looking like he’s in his early 30s and having a having a normal body weight. He had just lost faith in the spirit of the season.

After a particularly cute snowball fight, Nick proposes to Carol in the town square, and Christmas is saved, right as some well timed carolers show up in time for the credits to roll.

The end.

disclaimer.april27,1995

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