DISCLAIMER: The Zircon staff is an industrious and talented group of people who are sincerely full of #@it. Therefore, take thee not a word uttered or written by this dastardly bunch seriously. The Zircon pages, aside from their obvious humor value, are worth a mere fraction of their printing cost. Happy reading, live long and prosper, may the road rise up to…

Strider Van Arathorn–Staff Writer

It all started with a brief power surge in Covenant Hall on Wednesday, followed by a loss of air conditioning.

Then the hot water pipes in East Campus broke without warning early the next morning. At two o’ clock that afternoon, the laundry machines in North Hall shorted out. By the time students returned to campus last Monday, SB1606 had been rearranged so the seats faced backward.

Residence Life began to investigate. By Monday afternoon, they found evidence that pointed to the maintenance staff.

Larry Van Gelder, who supervises the evening shift, couldn’t believe what he heard.

“It was probably a couple work-study people goofing around,” he said. “No one on my staff would want to create more work for themselves.”

But when motorcycles started appearing on building roofs later that afternoon, the story became too big to cover up.

“All the trapdoors to the roof were locked last week,” said freshman Abe Van Halsing. “The only ones with keys are the people in maintenance.”

Since Fall Fest, the number of pranks has steadily increased. Pumpkins have appeared on random roofs, and unusual animals have “wandered” into the dorms. The Gift, already a favorite target for mischief, received several redecorations in the span of two weeks. Some students even claimed that their room numbers had been switched with a neighbor’s. With the number of recent pranks growing in number and in creativity, maintenance finally retaliated.

“It’s basically a campus-wide prank war,” said Covenant Hall RA Lucy Westra. “And with maintenance involved, it’s a losing battle.”

Since the power surge in Covenant Hall, every building housing groups of known pranksters has been targeted. So far, only East Hall and West Hall have been unaffected by the mischief.

“I’m afraid to even go visit my wing mates,” said Van Halsing. “We could get pranked just because we were seen with the wrong people.”

Students are already rallying for their own revenge. Friday night, some students filled the skywalk with water cups. The next day, someone covered the garage doors of the maintenance building with sticky notes. Another student tried wrapping the Dordt vans in Saran wrap. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the van reserved for the mail center. By Tuesday afternoon, Aaron Baart, dean of chapel, announced that he would be addressing the prank war in next Wednesday’s chapel.

“We need to find a way to bring both sides of this disagreement together and work towards a solution,” he said.