Dordt to change name to Ordt

A Nonymous—Staff Writer

In light of the recent Twitter bracket pitting college names against each other, Administration has recently made an earth-shaking announcement: To claim the title of the most strangely named college in America, Dordt College will now change its name to Ordt.

“I think this change will really benefit the school. Sure, we’ve been rated number 1 in engagement twice in a row, but I think it’s always important to find new ways to excel as a college,” President Hoekstra said.

Several weeks ago, administration invited students to come up with suggestions for a new name for the college.

“We received many great suggestions, such as Trdod College, Dot College, Dardt College, Dordt—but pronounced Da – oh – ri – do – tu —or even to adopt the common mispronunciation: Dork College. But after much deliberation, we finally decided on this one,” Hoekstra said.

After the announcement was made, celebrations were held all over campus. Several groups of enthusiastic students even flocked out to help workers who were changing the sign, chanting, “Hurray for Ordt!”

Students have many reasons to be excited about the change.

“I’m so glad we decided to change the college’s name to Ordt College,” freshman Bruce Vander said. “Everyone knows that a college’s name is the most important part.”

“The college is advancing with the times, which is great,” sophomore Mary Vansue said. “First the science wing gets an upgrade, and now this. Ordt is making sure I get the best education possible.”

“I don’t have to worry about people mispronouncing the name as Dork College anymore,” junior Victor Perdedor said. “I couldn’t convince my grandfather that it was Dordt and not Dork before.”

Other students have been hoping for this change for a long time.

“I’ve always said that it makes no sense for there to be two D’s in the name if you’re only going to pronounce one of them,” senior Michel Der Grau said. “I’ve always been secretly hoping that this would happen.”

Students who want to give administration feedback on the new name will be able to do so on an email survey sometime next week.

disclaimer.april27,1995

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