Mona Lisa—Staff Write
Kanye West, Eminem and Katy Perry are running for the 2020 presidential election. President Hoekstra, an American Idol finalist from 2003, is still debating whether or not he should run as well.
Unlike many political debates, that range from kind insults to literal objects being thrown by candidates, this debate is said to be a musical. Each of the candidates will be debating each other with songs.
“The debates are always boring, we have always needed something to spice it up more,” says America’s Media Network host Don Pen. “With a musical, we will have record numbers of viewers and higher ad money and of course, but most importantly, it will mean higher voter turnout.”
Kanye West, the first of the candidates, announced his ambition for the oval office back in 2017. He will run under the campaign slogan “Making America gold diggers.” His slogan, which is based on his song “Gold Diggers,” is meant to signify where he hopes to bring America in years to come.
“We were once a nation of gold diggers, it’s time we return to what we once were,” West said.
West also says that he is not new to politics and that all of his songs have always had a double meaning.
“In all my music, America has always been my message. I have been making political music since the day I could sing. Now is the chance I can finally make a difference. I am conquest, and I am going to win.”
After the musical debate, voting will be done via tweets for voters’ favorite singer and the best performer. The event is said to be for 18 years and older, and throughout the speech, audio discretion is advised.
Katy Perry, who will be 35 during the election, is set to be the youngest person to run for president. Her slogan is “Making Tiger Champions.”
“My goal as president is to make America into a nation of champions, of people who can overcome anything. I want to help them to be fireworks and to shine brightly.”
Katy Perry is hoping she can get Christian votes and has promised to release more Christian music to capture more of the conservative audience’s votes. She says that if Trump could do it, she could, too. She has even gotten a tattoo of Jesus to show her commitment to the core Christian values that shaped her beginnings.
“On the day of the debate, my songs will be religious. You know, conservative vote turned the last election; we can use it again. I know I stand a good chance.”
Perry is not afraid of challenging the other candidates.
“They are no match for me, I can easily get the vote. [West] is just too vulgar to get votes.”
West, on the other hand, does not believe Perry’s criticism.
“I’ll be fine,” West scoffed. “Trump managed, and it was his language that got him votes. I can easily do the same, and I can top him.”
Some people are outraged, arguing that this is not how the presidency should be done.
“This is stupid, plain stupid,” said Jeff Bush. “They don’t even know how politics work. None of them have had any practice. What happens to candidates who cannot sing or rap?”
“They simply won’t get any coverage,” Pen answered. “Because the American people don’t want them. We know what America wants, we have poll statistics.”
During the debate, each candidate will be given 10 minutes to produce a song and sing it to the American people. Candidates are expected to relay their point of view and counter their opponents’ opinions.
The Entrance Fee will be $200 and the money will be given to the non-profit organization Making Presidents. The cause of the organization is to redefine the process of how a presidents are elected.
“I am glad that we are using diversity in how we do elections,” says Pen. “We have had actors as presidents before, and we currently have an ex-show host as a president. We are truly changing the name of democracy and politics.”
Hoekstra is no stranger to fame. Having nearly won American Idol with his breakthrough original hit, “Every Square Inch,” he knows the pressures of being in the spotlight. The song, described by critics as “Bob Dylan meets Taylor Swift,” led to a generational surge in applicants to Reformed Christian Colleges.
Hoekstra said that, if elected, he will institute the Dordt Core program in universities nationwide. He has suggested the possibility of a support rally to be held in his office April 31.