Zach Steensma—Staff Writer
It’s that time of year again, students: Love is in the air. Campus abounds with Romance. All that talk of rings by springs. What could all this be?
Yes, that’s right:
It’s another typical Wednesday at Dordt College.
It also happens to be Valentine’s Day, a day where we honor the memory of a dude named Saint Valentine. Nobody really knows anything about him other than the fact that he was martyred… FOR LOVE (actually he was being persecuted by the Roman government).
“I like to celebrate the St. Valentine’s Day massacre by dressing up as Al Capone and speaking in an Italian accent,” remarked sophomore Zach Dirksen. “I’m going to be celebrating the true meaning of Valentine’s Day.”
Despite its blood-spattered history, the day is traditionally celebrated in a number of ways, including: stressing oneself out by pretending to be really happy or really sad over nothing, spending too much money on overpriced and/or unhealthy food and giving and receiving the severed reproductive organs of certain species of plants.
But is that what really happens on campus? Or is Valentine’s Day just another date on the calendar? To answer this question, we asked Dordt Students: what will YOU be doing this Valentine’s Day?
Some students choose to ignore the day completely.
“I’m Jewish, so I don’t celebrate Valentine’s day,” said junior Sam Vant Hoff.
Many students are no doubt going to spend the evening with their significant other. A lot of the couples around campus have already made plans to celebrate the holiday.
Regarding her plans to spend Valentine’s day with her boyfriend, junior Karissa Van Surksum noted: “I was going to make some treats, but since you’re interviewing me and not answering my question of whether or not I can use your oven, I guess not.”
Other students, like junior Garth Van Donselaar, prefer to leave room for Jesus.
“Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, I’ll be at youth group like a good Christian,” Van Donselaar said.
To most students, however, Valentine’s Day is just another day of solitude and crippling loneliness.
“I’ll probably end up drinking an entire bottle of sparkling juice by myself,” said single and musically-gifted second place winner of the talent extravaganza Rebecca Groninga, Dordt junior.
“I’m almost certain I’ll be crying into a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch,” said blue-eyed, intelligent and very eligible bachelor Adam Galloy, junior.
In order to keep up with romantic demand, Dordt is sponsoring matchmaking activities. This year, for instance, the CDAs on campus are helping students send cans of “Crush” sodas to their crushes, and the cost is completely free. After all, nothing says “I find you attractive” like a can of high fructose corn syrup.