This article was published in our bimonthly satire issue: The Zircon.
Anneli Kanerva–Staff Writer
The thought of having dead bodies on campus is unsettling for some, but even the toughest students are worried about reports that these cadavers are “coming alive.”
The cadaver lab, one of the crown jewels of the science program at Dordt, is now an area of scrutiny for many students. This lab is meant to provide valuable experience to students, but some refuse to go near it after having strange experiences inside of it.
“I was just about to leave when I saw one of them flex its fingers,” said senior Noah More. “That’s not even the first time something weird has happened in the lab. Sometimes things move around or disappear and we can’t explain why. I’m so freaked out, I’ll never go in there again.”
Security cameras are rare on Dordt’s campus, so many students have requested that cameras be installed in the cadaver lab to capture this so called “activity.” Campus security has denied the request so far, claiming that there is not enough evidence to make the cadaver lab a legitimate security concern.
“Look, some kids are just hyped up after playing ‘Humans vs. Zombies’ this semester.” Said biology professor Jelsmy Jelsma. “This is the first year we’ve had cadavers on campus and people are just being nervous and superstitious.”
Some students are interested to see the cadavers in action so they have taken matters into their own hands; setting up cheap cameras and camping-out in the hallway in hopes of capturing evidence of cadaver activity.
“It was pretty terrifying,” said senior Bob Welsh. “I put a baby monitor in there and waited in the hall, but I fell asleep. At 2:04 a.m., I woke up to this weird static feedback, but it was too dark in there to see anything. I even checked the cameras, but they cut out too.”
Understandably, people are worried for their safety and a group known as the Zombie Awareness Program (ZAP) has formed to look out for the welfare of students. ZAP is a group of students who feel they are qualified to protect their fellow students should the cadavers attempt to leave the lab. It is not uncommon to see ZAP members “on patrol” wandering the halls of the academic buildings armed with miscellaneous weapons. The school does not endorse ZAP but it seems that campus security has given them space to roam.
“I can’t understand how some people don’t believe us,” said Holly Blue a senior at Dordt. “I had my hand in one of them when we were doing a dissection and I swear on my life I felt the heart beat in my hand. Since then, I haven’t been back and I’ve changed my major from biology to education.”