This article was published in our bimonthly satire issue: The Zircon.
Scrilic Fajita—Staff Writer
A new class will be required of all engineering majors at Dordt. MINECRAFT for Dummies (EGR-MOJO) will be added to the course list in the 2018-19 school year.
“We want to equip our students to be ready for anything,” said Engineering professor Steve Brick (steveyforprez893). “When our students graduate we want them to know how to use every computer platform for engineers. It’s part of 21st century technology and communication.”
“MINECRAFT for Dummies” is a newer program for Dordt, but the professors think that the students will find the content helpful.
“We expect some reluctance from the students at first, but we hope they will take it seriously and really learn something,” said professor Jane Blond (silentcatfighter54).
The content of the program will introduce the students with basic building and collecting techniques. Lessons such as “Beat the tree til’ it gives you wood,” “Dig, dig, dig,” and “Kill the chicken” are all taught the first day. Building houses and properly picking flowers for dye are learned a few weeks in due to the intensity of the program.
“I have played Minecraft for a few hours before,” said luckcharms777, a senior who wished to remain anonymous due to the fact that he was procrastinating during the interview. “After only 300 hours and countless redstone circuits, I’ve made a train that sorta works and goes about 10 feet.”
The professors who teach this course have each made accounts and created a party. Inside this party world, they have built museums and workshops that students can go online and play around in.
Students will begin with Creative Mode in order to learn and get a handle on all the tools in the program. Redstone will be the basis for the program as it is used in working, moving, and creating active objects.
The second half of the semester will focus on Survival Mode. It will get the students familiar with constantly watching their backs for spiders and listening for the distinct warcries of zombies, skeletons, and slendermen. Course registrants will also get the chance to trade with villagers or completely take control of villages and redeem everyone.
“Students will get a chance to grow virtual farms: wheat, carrots, potatoes, watermelon, pumpkins, and grow animals: pigs, chickens, cows, and sheep,” said professor Cob Stone (sand+fire=glass33). “We will teach them the right way to dig. Straight over, straight down. How to identify contents of rocks and what tools to use to properly mine them so you don’t lose it.”
Professors will also be teaching how to lay tracks, build castles, and make working microwaves.
The final assignment will be to create a stone castle with 4 bedrooms, a spell room and a full-body diamond armor suit, and to collect 5 artifacts from 5 challenges. Students must also make five loaves of bread and catch two baskets of fish to trade with the villagers, and, as the ultimate challenge, build a portal to another dimension and slay the dragon that lives there.
“I’m excited to make a bed and make my character sleep all day,” said Ty Eard (needmoreschool919). “I want to hug one of those green guys with four little feet, they seem cool. Oh, I also want to travel in one direction forever. I hear from the class it promotes ‘flat-world thinkers’.”
For students and faculty who are new to the game, there is much to learn.
“I love to build blocks, I also love to destroy blocks,” said President Eric Hoekstra. The course’s initial inspiration originated with President Hoekstra himself (eric4th_prez4_20_12) when he studied Block Building back in college. “I would really love to see our students involved with a creative side and be able to communicate with the younger generation by bricks.”
There’s so much more than meets the keyboard in Minecraft. Professors and students are excited to try this new program platform in the classroom, but warn that the homework load will be pretty heavy.