Severus Snape – Staff Writer
The North and South wings on the second floor of East Hall are the proud champions of the 2013-14 “smelliest wing” of Dordt College award. The pungent prizewinners will receive absolutely no monetary reimbursement for their efforts. The first and third floors have taken the initiative to give a prize of 36 vanilla-pound-cake-scented candles to their adjacent floor.
Stinking up the floor was a combined effort from both wings.
“We couldn’t have gotten this achievement without the support of our RAs,” sophomore Micah Rus said. “Soodsma and Tommy gave us free reign and really let us do our stuff.”
Both North and South wings were so close in severity of smell that the judges, biology professor James Mahaffy, East Hall LCA TJ Wells, and every single female visitor in the last 16 weeks, couldn’t bring themselves to put one above the other.
The inhabitants of the two wings have different opinions, however.
“We are definitely smellier,” North wing native Jacob Moats said. “Girls just think that our wing is worse because they spend all their time on our side.”
The infamy of the second floor is still spreading even though the annual competition is over.
“I don’t think I have ever been in second floor of East Hall,” freshman Kelli Johnston said. “I will definitely have to check it out now.
The efforts of the 2nd floor dwellers did not go completely unnoticed by the other dorms.
“It’s smelly, very smelly,” freshman and first floor resident, Kyle Fischer said. “But I grew up on a farm, so it’s not that bad.”
Covenant resident Emily Tuuk compared the three floors of East Hall to a cheese sandwich on rye with a three-inch thick slice of limberger.
“I heard once that the smell rises with heat, but the third floor doesn’t come close to the atmosphere of second floor,” freshman Stephanie Korthuis said.
The last 19 “smelliest wing” awards were won consecutively by the west wing of first floor of North hall. They were disqualified this year due to the discovery that there was actual mold in the molding.
“I feel like the extreme commitment these young men have shown will impact that specific floor for many semesters to come,” math professor Gary DeYoung said.
The efforts of the second floor dwellers will be acknowledged by the registrar, and they will be given a quarter of a credit to be counted towards Core 251: Lifespan Development.