We’re back… It’s weird…

Darin Lammers, Kyle Dykema – Columnists 

Darin: Kyle…

Kyle: Yes?

Darin: It’s sort of cramped in this bathroom. I’m really squished in this corner.

Kyle: Well, we sort of wrote ourselves into this corner.

Darin: Yeah, but we didn’t have to go through with it.


Darin: Kyle, I don’t think we have fans.


Darin: Well, I’m sort of uncomfortable being in here, so flush this, let’s get out.

Kyle: Fine…

 Kyle and Darin sneak out of KP22 satisfyingly.

 Darin: They’ll never know we were here.

Kyle: Except when they read this article.

Darin: Wait, erase that last line I said!

Kyle: Darin. This is live. There are no take-backs.

Darin: Weird.

Kyle: Okay. So we need a subject. We can’t just screw around the whole time.

Darin: Fine. You know what I want to talk about?

Kyle: I got it. Corn. Iowans love it.

Darin: No, silly boy. Danny boy. Little boy. What I want to talk about is Super Bowl Commercials. Specifically something I noticed about them.

Kyle: Cool, sounds good to me. What did you notice?

Darin: I have mixed feelings about the Super Bowl commercials. Honestly I don’t remember too many of them, although the most memorable one was a local commercial for ‘Combined Pool and Spa’… (it’s hilarious, if you haven’t seen it, look it up online). I dunno, I just didn’t see much originality and diversity in the commercials this year. It’s something I really look forward to during the Super Bowl, and for some reason I wasn’t really impressed. Some commercials were obviously trying to be funny or memorable with cute animals, celebrities, or catchy songs… but it seemed very shallow to me and very formulaic.

Kyle: Yeah. It might be because I’m just getting tired of it, but every year the commercials matter less to me. There might be one or two that I can applaud for creativity, but in the end they’re just trying to sell me something, and it’s hard to get past that. This year there was certainly a formula when it came to a few car commercials. Step 1: Shoot a bunch of beautiful footage. Step 2: Write a vague but sort of powerful monologue. Step 3: Get a cool voice to read it over the beautiful footage. There’s your commercial. It got old.

Darin: Yup. Well, that’s enough “serious” content to fill up this column, don’t you think?

Kyle: Feels about right to me.

Darin: Now we exit on a few more laughs. Like always.

Kyle: Stop giving away our formula! They’ll know we have no creativity!

Darin: Whoops! Uh…what do I do?

Kyle: Quick, distract them!

Darin: Uh, hey! Look out behind you! It’s Caleb Vanderhill!

Caleb: Hey guys.

Kyle and Darin: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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