Jeremy Vreeken-Staff Writer
Well, it’s mid-October: The leaves are falling, the days are getting shorter, the sweaters thicker and the piles of homework higher. One bright light, for freshmen at least, is that the long weekend formerly known as Tri-State (Heartland just doesn’t have the same ring) is behind us, and along with that comes the expiry of that age-old Dordt-ism, “Don’t date before Tri-State!”
The intentions of this phrase seem to be innocent enough: To ensure that you’ve known someone at least a month―and thought about it―before you get caught up in hormones and declare them the ‘love of your life’ and immediately begin dating and making out in the library and stuff. The idea of waiting and thinking awhile before jumping into some sort relationship is, in my book, a good one; however, sometimes I think it comes from, and results in, an over-cautious dating process.
Do I think that being cautious and conscious about who you date is a good thing? Yes. I mean, you wouldn’t want to be with someone who turns out to be a serial killer or hates puppies or something, but I also think there is such a thing as being too cautious.
Often, when people are looking at others as options for dating, they see only marriageable qualities. They can often be heard saying things like, “I just don’t think I can see us getting married,” or “I heard him say he doesn’t want kids,” or “She wants like 500 kids. I don’t know if I could do that,” or “I heard their family is weird. I don’t want to be part of that.”
While each of these objections may have validity in some way, they all fail to hit a major mark in life; the present. Why are people so hung up on marriage? What about being happy now? How can you know if that is or isn’t the type of person you want to marry? You hardly know them. So they don’t want kids― what young person knows for certain exactly what they want in life? I know I don’t. People’s minds change every day; yours could, too. You don’t always have to be thinking about the future because you’re living right now.
Now, I’m not saying that you should just go out and date anyone and everyone. All I’m saying is that it’s impossible to know what your life will look like even in five years, much less 50; so why not take a chance?