With all the controversy surrounding the new Dordt sports logo, faculty and staff have been meeting around the clock in order to come up with a less offensive and negative portrayal of Dordt sports.
The new logo, currently a knight holding a sword in a downward stabbing motion, was immediately met with resistance when it was revealed almost two weeks ago.
“I couldn’t believe Dordt would pick such an offensive logo,” said Sioux Center resident Nancy Kuiper-Visser. “The knight is a symbol of oppression. I mean, what’s next? A bulldog? Maybe a bull? I liked it better when the “Dordt Defender” was shrouded in mystery. That way everyone could have their own interpretation of what a Defender is.”
Kuiper-Visser went on to describe her own personal Defender as “Six feet, five inches with long wavy locks and abs that you can grind meat on. You know, like Fabio. Only more defendery.”
However, many disagree with the stance of Kuiper-Visser and think that a knight is the best way to describe Dordt’s attitude toward sports.
“A knight is the best way to describe Dordt’s attitude toward sports,” said Dordt intern Michael Den VisVanVisViss. “After all, it’s the knight’s job to grab his sword and plunge it into the hearts of all who defy him. Then when the sword drips with the blood of the knight’s enemies, their seed wiped from the face of the earth, and the knight’s mind is trapped in a dark and never-ending nightmare coma, will all those who oppose him be silenced for eternity, thus allowing the knight complete and total control of the country side and all those who live within. Sounds like a typical Dordt football game if you ask me.”
The controversy has no end in sight. Angry mobs have begun forming outside the campus center at precisely 11:17 every Wednesday to protest the obscene and offensive new mascot by chanting, “No Knights; No Rights”, “New Logo is a No-Go”, and “Seriously? You picked a Knight? Way to be original.” Their slogans have attracted major media networks such as ABC, NBC, and Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report.
An unnamed source within the Dordt College faculty and staff has been quoted as saying, “It’s chaos in here. The logo is tearing at the very fabric that is Dordt College. Half of the faculty opposes the new logo while the other half have grabbed pitchforks and torches and vowed not to let anyone leave the premises without swearing allegiance to the new knight.”
It’s unclear when the controversy will end. However, one thing is certain. No matter what happens in this life, someone will always be unhappy and find something wrong when there is nothing wrong.
Dragonborn, Staff Writer
dordtdiamond.com 