Dordt basketball takes over Charlotte

With the recent despicable season posted by the Charlotte Bobcats, a 7-59 overall record and a win percentage of .106, team owner Michael Jordan has decided that “this franchise sucks” and he’s replacing it with another. In an NBA lottery draft type selection, the Dordt College basketball team led by head coach Doss Rouma has been selected to replace the attempt of a team, causing people to scratch their heads more than when New Orleans received the first pick last year.

“I feel like we’re ready to take on this competition. We’ve been very successful in the level we’ve played in and I believe it will transition well into the NBA,” said Rouma. “It brings a new aspect of sports to small town Iowa, not to mention a lot of money. Plus working for the greatest basketball player of all time will be pretty sweet.”

Anticipation is high. The team will begin its first official season next year in the 2013-14 season. ESPN analysts can’t wait to see what these players will do, and many of them are expected to do well. Skip Bayless seems to think very highly of small forward Wrevor Toltersdorf.

Bayless was quoted on ESPN’s First Take as saying, “Move aside LeBron; you’re terrible anyway. New guy Toltersdorf is now the front runner for MVP. He probably should have gotten your last three as well.”

Toltersdorf isn’t the only soon to be rookie with anticipation. Shooting guard Cheddar “Ginger Magic” Bob has now become the front runner to win the NBA 3-point shoot-out during the All-Star weekend, and power forward Lyle Kindburg to participate in the dunk contest.

“This is something we’ve all been dreaming of,” said point guard Rojo Perro. “If we show up to play we can be good. And I mean that in a literal sense; Halo 4 just game out and we’ve not seen much of Jordan lately.”

“He’s just jealous he’s not best friends with Master Chief,” responded the Spartan fighter.

The jump will officially be made after this year’s season. This allows the players to get one more year of collegiate ball in before making the jump to professional basketball. 6th man Sieves is just happy for his student loans to be paid off quickly.

Jimmy Powers, Staff Writer

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