As I am sure you all know, Dordt College is on the lookout for a new provost, and as I’m sure none of you know, a new candidate has just been added to the list of those running to fill the position.

The new candidate however, was an interesting choice for the role of provost. In an interview with a member of the provost search committee, Meggie Folchart, I uncovered the reason for the addition of the new candidate.

“We were looking for someone who had a solid foundation in Dordt’s campus, and was willing to put their best foot forward in their role as provost,” said Folchart. “We decided that someone who would always be reaching out into the community with an open hand to its students would be best.”

This was the basis for the decision to add The Gift as the new provost candidate. I wanted to get an inside look at the candidate himself, so I decided to meet him for an interview.

Me: So, Mr. Gift –

Gift: Please, call me by my real name. It’s Bernerd Rockwell.

Me: Alright then, Mr. Rockwell, why did you decide to run for provost?

Rockwell: I just feel like reaching out to the community is what I’ve been created to do. Plus, I’m pretty sure I know the face of every student who has ever had classes here!

Me: …right. So tell me, what’s your biggest plan if you become provost?

Rockwell: Well, you know how much Dordt loves their travel abroad programs? I thought I’d take them one step further.

Me: How so?

Rockwell: Two words: The moon. We need to spread community and worldview everywhere right? Well, God created the moon too; how can we be so selfish as to keep our worldview to just this planet?

Me: Fair enough. What’s your best memory of the campus you’re hoping to serve?

Rockwell: When I heard rumors of a clock tower being built, I almost couldn’t believe it. Finally, I would be joined by someone who can stand tall and hold the same far-reaching vision as me!

Me: And your worst memory?

Rockwell: It was a cold enough night that I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. And then…there were cotton balls…everywhere.

Me: I had heard you loved pranks…speaking of rumors, is it true your place here in front of the Academic Building might be given to someone else?

Rockwell: Yes, the campus cat told me the same, and he seemed very smug about it. I just told him that if the rumor here was true, it was only because I was being moved to my rightful place beside the clock tower. I hear they have a pedestal built there already.

Me: That’s the reason for the stump – I mean pedestal, next to the clock tower?

Rockwell: Indeed. You didn’t think they would build an entire brick pillar just to hang that shiny crest on do you?

Me: I couldn’t say…so where’s your favorite place to go in Sioux Center on a Friday night?

Rockwell: I don’t get around much…

Me: Of course, my bad. Final question…much of the campus is dying to know…what’s with the metal rings and blue ceramics by your feet?

Rockwell: The what?!

So there you have it! I’d say that any candidate willing to add lunar soil to the definition of “every square inch” and go where no provost has gone before is a rock solid competitor in this highly anticipated race for the highly esteemed position of provost here at Dordt College.

Scarlett Penn, Staff Writer